I'm stuck in a rut, please help!!!

I spend an awful lot of time on my computer, sitting on a recliner and doing absolutely nothing. Regardless of the fact that I have many people who I regard as friends, there are very few that I see on an even semi-regular basis and I miss interaction.

I am the kind of person who constantly feels in the way. I feel like I'm encrouching on peoples space and time and as a result I almost never ask to do anything with anyone. I'm afraid they dont really like me and they're pitying me or they're sick of me. So quite understandably people ghet sick of always asking me to spend time with them and eventually stop asking and in my mind prove my pointm, that they dont want to spend time with me.

Now, hoping that my screwy mind has been misguiding me, this is for everyone I have at some time or another, fobbed off. You asked me to hang out, we did, and then I never returned the favour. I am a sucky friend.

I think it all comes down unsurprisingly to a lack of self esteem, I dont feel worthy of anyone. I feel like the boring, fat, burden that everyone would love to be rid of. But I am going to change this. I am going to be who I want to be. My life change with me. And here is my shout out to all of my mistreated friends. I miss you, please, please get in contact with me and lets do something! Let's go shopping, lets hang out and watch movies, lets catch up.

Let 2012 be a year of renewed friendships!