This morning I decided while at work I should weigh myself so I know exactly the numbers that I'm up against and the terrifying figure is....135.65kg... Woah. When I compare that to what I want to be for my wedding (75) that's 60.65 kilos to lose. The worst part of that number is when I realised that that is an entire person. I have to lose an ENTIRE PERSON. On top of that, I dont have all the time in the world, I have til October 2013. But it is doable.
I have to stop putting it off, no last hurrah where I go on an epic quest down the aisles at Woolworths searching for all my favourite fatty and sweet foods and eat myself into a sugar coma. Not this time. Starting tomorrow morning I eat like a normal person. I have breakfast, I eat smaller portions (no troughs for me) and I eat nurtritional foods; multigrains and fruits and lean proteins. I make use of my work place, ironically in a gym (I'll get to that later) and try to attend a class every day. I dont have the luxury of pretending that I'm healthy.
When is it okay to indulge? Is it okay for me to indulge at all? I haven't shown much, if any, restraint in the past so perhaps allowing myself small treats just isn't viable to me. I can't have just one TimTam or 3 pieces of chocolate. Should I altogether ban myself from certain foods that I binge on? Anyone with any advice, I would appreciate it.
Now back to the gym. I started working at the gym about 4 months ago. Now, before anyone jumps to anyone ridiculous conclusions, no I do not train at the gym, nor do I work behind the counter. I run the little cafe inside and every single day I walk in there and serve beautiful thin people coffee all day long and it's hard not to feel judged. Just the other weekend, the table right in front of my counter were talking about the Biggest Loser and how pathetic all the contestants were and how ridiculous they looked, and not for the first time in my life I heard, 'They should learn how to put down the fork!' What must these people think of me when I'm larger than many of the contestants? And here's a revelation for you. I actually applied to be in this season of the Biggest Loser, but was turned down because I wasn't single.
Really when it all comes down to it, me in my current state working at a gym is kind of a joke. By working in the gym, I am in a way representing it and I need to be a better example.
That's it for tonight, I did have 3 more paragraphs but I think I'm pushing it as it is.
Oh, one more thing. I posted a link on my facebook to my last post and got some incredible feedback. I would like to thank everyone again for being so supportive and offering me so much help and advice, It makes me feel less alone.
I hope to get some more comments and feedback soon.
Don't ban yourself from certain foods. I did that to begin with and I found that I binged on the foods I wasn't allowed to have.
ReplyDeleteGive yourself one day that you're allowed to have a small snack chocolate or something. Just something to reward yourself. :)
Love you.
Don't deprive yourself!!
ReplyDeleteI find that if I constantly say no, I end up binging on whatever it is that I was trying to avoid, as I tell myself "Stop being so hard on yourself".
Think of ways to mix it up, instead of milk chocolate have dark chocolate and instead of eating the whole block, have a few pieces.
Essentially we can eat pretty much anything and still lose weight as long as we control the amount and team it with exercise. (though avoiding bad foods will probably get you to your goal much quicker)
This being said everyones body is different.
I started eating healthy and exercising loads recently in order to really ramp up in derby this year and I have been sick the whole time and havent lost anything!!
Keep up the good work, and if you ever need a workout buddy I'm hear, doing this alone a lot of the time ends up in giving up (speaking for myself here) :)
Golden.